Exowax Recordings
Letters To Lamn Xavb

Dear Sir,

Just a note of appreciation for your latest release, Mike Keneally's 'Nonkertompf'. It rocks. Keep up the good work.

Yours Truly,

Bruce Barratt

Mr. Barratt,

It pleases me that you enjoy our musical artist Mike Keneally's album, his first to appear upon our label, Exowax Recordings.

Allow me to wish you much luck and fine health today.

With sincere appreciation,

Lamn Xavb

PS: I see that you are on AOL.


I just wanted to congratulate the mysterious founder on the release of Nonkertompf, and on the mystery.

So little in the world of Mr. Keneally has it, and so it's delicious when there is some mystery. It seems so perverse. Exowax is a perfect label name. Yay.

Adam Lindsay

Mr. Lindsay,

I am enthused reading your e-mail sent to me. My malformed assistant relates to me in recent times seven grand tales of so-called "mystery" regarding myself; "yarns" which certainly create an amusement within. For do I not consume my eggs three at a time as all do, or squat facing Pluto?

Yours with humility and grateful retorts, especially as regards the "Yay,"

Lamn Xavb

Greetings and salutations.

Congratulations on the release of your musical artist Mike Keneally's musical release. It has been a challenge reading the song titles printed on the bonus CD of the Nompkertompf......That little sucker spins around real fast. Thank you for your time. 

R. Stiles


If I may presume to ask: Will you not become a better person as a result of this feat? I do believe so.

As for congratulations, I humbly redirect them to musical artist Keneally; for I am merely the reason for his existence.

I invite you to enjoy your life.

Lamn Xavb

Suggestion: get that Exowax logo onto a tee-shirt. I LOVE it. Heck, I'll take 2! Drumbot 2.0 might make a swell Nonker-t as well. Hey, how about a pocket tee with Drumbot on the back and Exowax on the pocket? Nah, 2 different ones would be better - I wouldn't have to do my laundry as often. That's enough from me for now.


PS: Nonkertompf is swell.


The absence of a salutation in your missive grieves me temporarily. I ascribe it to the impertinence of the day, but, as "they" are wont to say in these times, "fuck."

Perhaps after the sale of two "tee" garments to you, musician Keneally and I might at last with the proceeds retire to Kahramanmaras for rejuvenation and obsecration.

However I jest.

That is enough from you for now.

Lamn Xavb

Dear Mr. Xavb, or may I call you "sweetheart"?,

I think our parents may have known each other in the "olde" country. They're both dead now, except for my mother, Mrs. Olde. Perhaps you have some photos from their high school days together when they were on the air hockey team together (on opposite sides, of course).


Col. Moebius Bleep (Ret.)

Colonel Bleep,

My gracious, I am forced to endure no salutation and now one most forward and exhilarating. I am at a loss.

As regards your query: Perhaps I possess a photograph from the future depicting you being forced to inhale a chalice containing 766 newly provoked live manta ants as fitting punishment for your impertinence. I suspect that your country's military never allowed such frivolous and false correspondence to desecrate its sacred writing surfaces.

I implore you to economize your strength in preparation for the War Between The Retired, Colonel Bleep. And you will be most pleased if you do not underestimate the combative powers of an enraged and fiercely protective musical artist Mike Keneally on my behalf.

Lamn Xavb

Hi Lamn, you old cock-knocker!

Hey I'm looking at the spifferific new Exowax page and I noticed the name Bryan May. I'm just curious to know if this is supposed to be Queen guitarist Brian May, just spelled wrong, or if there's actually a Bryan May and who the hell is he?

That is all.



This greeting is, in your parlance, "more like it!" The public humiliation of your righteous correction will be noted now.

I fear you like no other.

Lamn Xavb

PS: Musical artist Mike Keneally once told me of a delightful meal he enjoyed among his companions.

Dear Sir Amazing Wise Mister Lamn Xavb,

His recent series of performances at the Baked Potato in Hollywood found audience members flying in from the UK and Japan to get their live Keneally fix. Is Florida not far away enough to be mentioned? :->

BTW, I'm pretty sure Oppression has 2 Ps. Keep up the good work, eh?

Brian Czako

Mr. Czako,

The e-mail that you sent to me contained no salutation, so for the sanity of all, I took upon myself the liberty of creating one. You are indeed welcome.

Quite the contrary: My dog-eared copy of Butler's "Elements of Geography and History Combined in a Catechetical Form" states within that the American state of Florida is "too far away" to become mentioned (with the necessary exception of these twice references).

In light of your helpful intercession: I am beginning to assume the clarity, shame and abject humility of the Frequently Corrected, thanks to you and your previous lower-case comrade.

Lamn Xavb

PS: I would be pleased to send you a XavbVoucher™ for a new one, providing you return it to me at once.


While it might appear that other people are fooled by your apparent desire to produce quality music in a cheap world, I know that the truth is you want it all to yourself. Try as you might to obfuscate, obliterate, and appropriate, the Music lives on. It grows while you suffer.

Do what you want with pens, lighters and shavers - Keneally is unstoppable.

Nonkertompf is.

You aren't.

A "Friend."

I could use a friend, A.

Lamn Xavb





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